on dreams.

this year, i spread my wings and stepped out in the big world on my own. i'm starting a new chapter in my life. i graduated this spring.

as end of spring semester approached, it really hit that i was actually graduating and going to be moving forward in life. as an adult. when i thought about it, it was scary and exciting all at the same time. but then i started to ponder my future.

what did i want to do? where did i want to go with my life?

when i was younger, i always said i was going to go do something in the medical field. it was a massive dream of mine to become a surgeon of some sort. i wanted to save people's lives and impact the lives of those around them in a positive way. i wanted to bring joy to people. but after changing schools 17 times in my 13 years of schooling, the sound of more schooling sounded exhausting.

but i was in a hard spot. i didn't want to continue to college, but being that i pulled mostly straight A's up until my senior year, i think most people expected it of me. and i had always had big dreams of going through lots of schooling to become a doctor of sorts. so now what?

this brings up a good point my sister made. in today's society, if a B or C student decides not to go to college after graduation, not much is thought about it. because during their schooling years, B and C students do only the things they want and they do enough to get them through and to pass the class, but they're not worried what others think of them. they are content with who they are. then there are the A students (like me..) who work their tails off and/or are gifted with smart brains who try so hard to pull A's and please everyone. these straight A students are those who graduate with honors and typically walk away with scholarships (lots of times full-rides even) and it's almost just expected that they continue onto many years of college because that's just what "smart" people do. 

so, after many people asking me what i'm going to do in the fall and without having an answer to give, many people told me that i should apply at St. Cloud State University for the fall semester. so i did. because what else was i going to do?

was this necessarily what i wanted to do? no it was not. but i didn't know where my life was going to go after this summer, so it seemed wise. at least i knew what id be doing. i cannot stand anticipating the unknown. i don't like surprise.

then, i saw the video of Zach Sobiech that went viral. if you haven't seen it yet, it's a MUST! i cried through the whole thing. and then at the end i began to think. i began to think about my life. i thought about where i am right now in my life, and where i want to be. i began to feel inspired. i saw my future unfolding before me.

(watch the video here: MY LAST DAYS  )

then, within the past two weeks i was chatting with two good friends of mine. two photographers as a matter of fact. one of them has a passion for photography, while photography is simply a hobby for the other. one of them started our conversation by asking me if i wanted to pursue photography as my career. that sent the wheels a-spinnin' in my head. why, yes. yes i did want to pursue photography as my fulltime career. that's my dream.

she then preceded to tell me that she only liked taking the photo. she wasn't a huge fan of the rest of the photography process. for me, photography is so much more. i don't have a way with words. anyone that knows me well, knows this about me. my emotional outlet is through my photographs. i love everything about photography. envisioning photos, creating photos, interacting with clients, making photos happen, editing, every. little. thing! pressing the shutter is quite possibly the smallest part of creating a photograph.

you know, in a way, photography has saved my life. because everyone needs a way to express emotion.

then my other friend that i was chatting with is just as passionate about photography as i am. we connect in a beautiful and amazing way. as we were chatting about photography and life and how amazingly blessed we were, and the answer was smack in front of me. i was inspired and i knew what i had to do.

why was i planning on going to school? that's not what i wanted to do. photography is my dream. it's my passion. i live and breathe photography. i'm going to pursue my dream. i'm going to live my dream.

my dream is to be a photographer and a mommy of a large family. i want to get married and be a photographer. how can i further my business when i'm sitting in a classroom listening to lecture? i can't. and what the heck would i go for anyway? so no school for me. i'm going to put all of me into my photography. that's what i want to do. i'm going to focus on living my dream.

but what is my dream? where do i want to be in one.. five.. ten years from now? i know that photography is my calling, but what am i most passionate about?

my dream is to be an engagement, wedding, and lifestyle photographer. i want to capture emotion. i don't want to capture posed photos, i'm not the queen of posing. i want to capture real smiles, real laughs, real tears, the quiet moments, the exciting moments, i want to capture emotion. i want to capture YOU. and since that's my dream, that's what i am going to focus on solely. that is my passion and my calling.

and you know, photography might not save lives, but it sure as heck can bring enjoyment to yourself and to those around you now and for years to come.

you only live once. live the life you want to live now. that's what i've decided to do. i'm going to simply be me and do what i want to do. this is my dream life. i'm not going to let anything stop me. maybe it's not what others want to see me do as a career, but this is what makes me happy. it's the job that doesn't feel like a job at all. it's that kind job that everyone wishes for.

i truly feel blessed to have found my career at such a young age. it's a beautiful thing.

and you want to know something? if i can do it, so can you. go out there and live the life that you dream of. anything is possible. you just have to make it happen. and that's what i am out to go do. i'm out to live my dreams.

this is what i yearn to capture. real moments of real life.

thank you for listening to what i had to say. i have been feeling so inspired.. and i love it! i want to continue to always be inspired. i want to continue to grow as a photographer, as a business owner, and as a person in general. i want to be me, without worrying about what others think. but we'll hit that topic another day.

until next time!
xoxo.bree